Mind-fullness or Mind-distance – that is the question

stress in relationship health moneyhttp://medokh.org/wp-content/uploads/stress-in-relationship-health-money.jpg 1006w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />

Some say that by keeping your mind full with what you want – the universe will provide it to you (coincidently I write this at Christmas and this is what my parents told me about St Nicolaus). Many automatically do this already  but now if nothing happens or even worse, you get Leukemia and a heart attack – you can only blame yourself that you have not wished the right things or you did not visualize them in the proper way. In this post I will describe a much older truth – that by keeping mind activity at a distance – you become able to reduce the amount of suffering  and create more inner freedom.

Every suffering that we go through starts with the mind finding a contradiction – with expectations on how things could have been – honest, grateful, responsible, loving ….  and  finding that actually  something else or the opposite was occuring.
One way to deal with this is to forgive and to believe that eventually God will set it right, latest in paradise.  Another approach is to believe that there is no duality, no good or bad, no light or darkness, no success or failure as believed in Adveita.

I found both ways to not workable for me for long – although I tried – however I saw many people that reached a level of consistent happiness that was adorable. I guess I am not alone and so I want to share what turned out to be my solution to this conflict.

 It is perceivable that on some level of existence there is no duality but trying to convince the mind that this is possible is like trying to convince the Pharma industry about the possibility of homeopathy. Duality is the basis of mind-activity – non-dual thinking is as possible as trying to make a computer that is based only on Ones (and no zeros).
Instead of negating Duality I found a great practical use in learning that Duality is the basis of all spiritual evolution, in short, we develop not despite of obstacles but because of them. The state of being that I consider healthiest is the DLE, the Dynamic Labile Equilibrium between the polarities.

Our life gives us plenty of possibilities to exercise this DLE but one area by far more than anything else and this is the working of our mind. Information that we receive in one day is possibly more than people a few centuries ago received in their whole life, so necessarily we experience far more contradictions than ever before, because mind is based on YES and NO.
One common way to deal with this is dogmatism, religious, political, lifestyle or otherwise leading to convictions that leave no doubt of what is right or wrong, friend or enemy. Others get mood swings, schizophrenic or bi-polar existence, just because they cannot be small-mindedly dogmatic but also do not know any other way of dealing with the contradictions.

As I said, every suffering starts with a thought of contradiction, maybe a thought that is so fast or automatic that we do not realize it as such.
Some work well with the approach to reduce expectations, some call it “being present”, others hold that if you only foster positive thoughts the negative ones will eventually be reduced.

I realized that contradictions especially, those that you have been trying to deal with for years are essentially unsolvable and better to accept this fact before it is too late – maybe it is the key aspect of greowing-up.  This constructive way to accept contradictions was to value them as wake-up calls to stop engaging into thought, at this moment and about this topic.
Internal discussions or the exchange with friends or a psychologist about some personal contradiction can sometimes solve it but usually only for some tougher issues to come up and take its place very quickly. Blaming and Explaining never stops contradictions  for long.
However if you make it a strategy that whenever some disappointment, judgment, jealousy… wants to tell its story again, to withdraw your attention as much as possible together with the understanding that engaging in yet another internal and/or external discussion will not help but actually solidify the contradiction and burn up your energy.
Even more effectively will be, if you can bring the realization to each and every one of these moments that these polarities are built into your mind to allow you to develop consciousness because consciousness is not mind-activity but the power that can withdraw energy from mind-activity and it is the stronger the more it is capable to appear in strongest contradictions, eventually even in that of “survival versus death”.

Summary : “Understand that you will make a great profit by attempting to limit the engagement into thought about contradictions” and understand that you hopefully will never be able to switch-off the mind – because it is the fire that energizes your soul – as long as you are able to keep your fingers out & You do not need to wait for a retreat to do that – this fires burns most hot in everyday life.

Practical ways to use contradictions

As I wrote in above, a common way to eliminate contradictions is dogmatism, if you allow yourself to more exclusively to live in a certain mind-frame you will experience less painful mental contradictions and this is why it is done. But you can do this also indirectly by dedicating your life totally to something, like your job or your children or your spouse or rescuing the rain forest or exposing the illuminati… The more narrow and the more total this commitment the less the contradictions in your life. For example if you put a “macrobiotic lifestyle, your job, your church… “ on a remote top – you will less suffer from a relationship or other issue because on your scale of importance relative to your top one, all else is less than 1.
Daydreaming, watching videos, getting drunk, browsing the net, waiting for the next SMS, blogging on facebook, following the live of your hero will all reduce the painfulness of mental contradictions because it channels mental energy towards more pleasurable pursuits.
Others consider Non-attachment a more effective way to not create these contradictions in the first place. If you make a woe of celibacy you cannot be tempted so much anymore once you style your life routine accordingly. Equally if youu make ides like poverty, no vacation, not eating sweets, saving money, not associating anymore with certain people… your God you will less expereince contradictions because eventually your life will have only one aim.
This will all reduce the fire that is generated by contradictions but if you believe with me that this fire has a purpose to nourish your soul and evolution you will look for other ways to use mental contradictions rather than extinguish them.
Most effectively you can make use of mental contradictions if you bring your attention to something else while this chatter is going on in your mind, maybe your heartbeat, your breathing or any other part of function of your body, your environment… You can make a quick Qi Gong movement; you can count to 100, make a visualization exercise…

All these techniques that are well known become hundredfold more effective if used in moments of mental contradictions (stress) as it is then that they have material to transform and to understand that through these methods all the stressors are not to be eliminated but to be used to their maximum potential, is the key changing factor.

The arrow can only fly when the bow is tensed  & only the bow  that is tense can make music.

stress that creates musichttp://medokh.org/wp-content/uploads/stress-that-creates-music.jpg 900w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />


PS : and most imortantly – when doing any of these excercises bring a position emotion to your heart like gratitude http://www.hospitaller-soulspirithealing.org/rebirth-inspiration-grace-coincidence-wonder-miracle-the-5th-dimension/ as otherwise it only gives you the feeling of an alove observer and nothing could be more damaging than that

3 thoughts on “Mind-fullness or Mind-distance – that is the question

  1. Kirin, this is good stuff. There is another set of options you can try for yourself. It’s called applying the emotion to itself. Say your angry at someone or some situation. Try being angry about being angry…perforce your emotion changes to something else. Another option is to be curious about your disappointment. How about being adventurous about your suffering. If one option doesn’t get you the results you want, try a different one. There are endless possibilities. David

    • Dear David

      yes this is the problem of our times “There are endless possibilities” and so Mind-distance is very hard – because if one mind-approach does not
      work or is not even tried sufficiently there are countless other Self-help ideas in so many places. Being “adventurous about suffering” wants to change the attitude about suffering – but why – what is the ultimate goal – usually it is the illusion that something will make it go away – and this is my message IT WILL NOT because polarity is life-essential Mind-distance will never be a constant state – it will always oscillate with Mind-fullness – depending on your level of consciousness just with higher and higer frequency and intensity

      thank you for your comment


      • No the object of adventurous suffering is to change our perspective of suffering and to make it more useful and supportive of who we are.

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