Love is when you adore something or someone. The love of God, a spouse, a car, a hobby, it is all relatively easy, natural and human. It is great to live a life where you start to see more and more things that you love this will make you younger because children love so many things. However even this simple kind of love decreases as people or relationships get older .
Love only is special, super-human and divine, to the degree that it is unconditional !
Unconditional Love seems like madness as it is not logical to love something or someone that hurt you, that disappointed you, that made your life difficult – it is the “divine madness” that the saints talk about. The mind will often be the enemy of unconditional love because it is it, that sets conditions and makes differences.
In the beginning of relationships there is usually a spark of this “unconditional love”, no matter what the lover does, it is forgiven, overlooked, taken lightly or made fun about. When relationships get old and stuck the same mistakes are taken “seriously” and reduce “at least for some time” the love one feels for the other which means the Love is not unconditional anymore – the divine spark has left.
Really we have to cultivate love by throwing out conditions, that anyway are only the result of habits. Why do I need to have my coffee hot, to love it, or why not like my soup only because there is a hair in it?
Travelling is a good way to cultivate “unconditional love” as so many things are different than what you expect and believe you like. Love of God is also easy if he gives you good things in life but don’t ask him to remove your sickness or protect you – he knows this anyway but if you love God when things get tough, you are practicing super-natural divine love that will show him you have learned all that can be learned from suffering.
Unnecessary suffering is the result of all the conditions we are setting – while necessary suffering is when we take our cross without reducing the love for the people or things that apparently caused it.
The opposite to this divine state is CONDITIONAL love. This prostitutional love always says or feels something like: I will love you, if you give me this or that – I will love you, if you tell me everything – I will love you, if you do what I like – I will love you, if you love only me….
But there is something even worse “Criminal love” when love is used for extortion. You can train animals by giving them food if they did something that you want them to learn (conditional love) but of course you can train also by taking food away if the animal did not do what you want it to learn (criminal love).
In many human relationships what started as prostitutional love where you have being paying in some way to receive the love of someone then this love is taken away to extort even more dependence.
Children often are forced by their parents to behave as expected, to perform well at school to continue to receive the love of their parents, they have to pay for the love they receive, parents behave like prostitutes. But it often gets worse for example when they find their first lover and the mother or the father gets jealous and withdraws his love to emotionally threaten the child, this is “criminal love” and it is everywhere.